I arrived in Redding in time for home group. “Lighthouse” meets on Thursday nights and it’s the most glorious and sweetest time of family worship and fellowship that anyone could hope for. I pray that God would bring you all into a group like this, full of love for God and one another, where  you can just soak in his presence and have freedom to express your love for him and receive His love as well.

Tonight was Friday night service and Dawna DaSilva was speaking. She’s one of the directors of the Transformation center and an amazing teacher. She spoke on being bound and how we are to be bound to the Lord (which brings life) and not bound by the Enemy (which brings death). And since she’s one of the heads of the inner healing department, she ended the service in true Dawna fashion by praying for us all and walking us through breaking off lies that have made ungodly “bonds”, and release truth that binds us to God. Good stuff.

After the service I had an opportunity to pray for a woman named Lexi who recently moved to Redding from Las Vegas, to give her and her kids a fresh start. She really feels it’s a God thing but is having a hard time because things aren’t lining up yet (as far as housing and transportation). God loves her so much and I only got to see a glimpse of it. Please pray that she sees it too. That she experiences God’s love and faithfulness, and that her needs and desires are all fulfilled, both materially and in the form of spiritual mothers and fathers in her life.

Well, tomorrow is going to be a full day for me. I have plans of going to the healing rooms in the morning, hunting for a good cell phone plan with a friend, hoping to hear back about a bed, and possibly some other furniture hunting adventures. After Pastor Barry’s sermon last week I’m inspired to go and buy a Jesus chair For those that remember Engedi, I’m looking for a smaller version of the old Jesus couch. (“In quietness and trust is your strength.”)

Blessings on you all.
May you be bound to Jesus and find rest and release in Him.
Laura

“I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.”
Mat 16:19

Josh Garrels ~ Don’t Wait For Me

When I was young I dreamed
Of a life that had beauty that had joy
But now I lost my life
For the one I dreamt of as a boy
Please don’t wait for me
I ain’t coming back again
I cannot turn around
From the place I’m going to where I’ve been

Have a listen at joshgarrels.com

I know without a doubt that this is why I’m here at Bethel. Through these classes God is stirring up hope and dreams for me again, ones with purpose and destiny, shaking off the fine dust of doubt that’s been subtly settling on me over the years and dimming my vision. Hope is so good. I’m feeling refreshed.

This vision of bringing healing to the nations is bigger than me so I know it’s His idea and even though I can’t see how it’s going to happen, I want it to happen, so I’m going to trust that He’ll make it happen. It’s a hard road with lots of tension and I have to continually give it to God and declare that I do trust Him even though I don’t understand His ways. But what I see in the distance is so worth it. I don’t know where this will take me personally, but hearing stories of inner healing teams going into places like Rwanda and Thailand make me want to jump out of my seat. “YES!! Sign me up!! What do I need to do?”

I admit that in the beginning I was only committed to one year at Bethel. Now I’m not so sure. All I know at this point is that I want to learn everything Bethel has to offer about setting people free. I have a feeling that’s going to take more than this one course. I don’t know how it will all play out, but I’m open now where I wasn’t before. I’m toying with ideas but not with assumption, just thinking about the options out there and interested to see what’ll happen. In the mean time I’m applying this stuff to my own life and looking for other opportunities to practice.

I pray that God brings you into a fuller measure of truth and freedom, digging out root lies and knocking down walls….

for the healing of the nations

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” (Luke 4:18-19)

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. (Gal 5:1)

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.  (John 8:3)

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10)

I’m trying to think of how I can describe everything that’s happened this month. In a nutshell, God has been teaching me valuable lessons in freedom, obedience, partnership with Him, His promises, my disappointments, hope, grace, the importance of processing, power vs. authority, and royalty. On Sunday He gave me an extremely powerful confirmation of His plans for me to bring freedom to the captives. It is still lingering in my spirit. God is doing amazing things in and through me, and will continue to do so as I make His presence my priority.

I’m writing to let you know that I have been chosen to be a part of the ministry team heading to Tijuana from March 23rd to 30th, 2010! I am asking you to consider partnering with me financially and prayerfully as I partner with God in bringing His Kingdom down to Earth. Bethel has been sending teams here every year for the last 10 years. We will be ministering as worship leaders, children’s ministers and have opportunity to preach, teach and give words of knowledge in local church meetings. There is a great expectancy in the community to see the supernatural power of Heaven come down. We will also minister on the streets with prophetic art, treasure hunts, drama and many other forms of outreach. We will experience being used by God to love the poor, love on tons of children, heal the sick, the blind, the lame, and encourage Pastors as we partner with them to see Revival change a nation.

My cost for this trip is $400 US. The first installment of $100 is due November 13th and the rest is due January 6th. If you are interested in supporting me financially for this trip you can make a donation online through ibssm.org. There is a link to “Make a donation to a student’s mission trip“. There is also an option there if you would like to donate towards my tuition. You can also support me by cheque through the mail:

We’ve been reading through Kris Vallotton’s book “The Supernatural Ways of Royalty” and answering questions from the workbook. The purpose of this set is to teach you how to leave behind the old “pauper” lifestyle and mindset, and walk fully in the power and authority we have as “princes and princesses” of the King. The questions are deep and thought provoking, asking you to delve into your childhood in some instances, searching for underlying lies that hinder you from seeing the fullness and completion of the work of the Cross and what it’s implications are.

The last question I answered was in the middle of a chapter discussing the reality of being dead to sin. “… To say that I have sinned is true. To say that I am free of sin is truer still…” The question asked me to write down some truths from Scripture about who I am because of my conversion that I have established in my thinking, and to write down how believing in these truths has enabled me to step into a new dimension of spiritual power and authority in different areas of my life.

I had a dream quite a few years back where I was in a jail cell but the door was open and there where no chains around me. Jesus was standing in the doorway and he said these exact words, “Come out, I am giving you your freedom”. I immediately woke up. Years later, I had another dream but this time I was standing outside the cell. I woke up disturbed though because I was still in the cell block and wasn’t out of the jail. I asked a woman from my church why she thought I wasn’t out yet and she said “That’s because you have to help free all the people in the cell block.” Some time after that, the dream came back. Only this time I was sitting in my friends cell with her, telling her that the door was open and that she was free to leave.

So today as I was doing my homework, the first verse that popped into my head was that one that has been brought to my mind repeatedly throughout my life. I read it when I was young and I know with certainty that it’s in the bible, but for the life of me I can’t find it. For some reason today I decided to google it, and this is the first thing I found:

Needless to say I had to do a double take. (Apparently the girl who submitted this entry to UrbanDictionary.com was named Laura.) I am constantly amazed at the methods God uses to speak to us. Seriously… UrbanDictionary… Who would have thought? 

Anyways, once again God has confirmed His message in my heart. Plus now I know where to find that verse! And that it’s in the New Living Translation

Well, back to work.
Peace out homes

represent!

In amongst all the people that went up, one girl got called out to go up and sing the song that was in her head. Despite our cheering and encouraging she refused to go up, no problem, sometimes it’s a little intimidating and people need time. A few more people went up and I started getting those heart palpitations that we all know and love. I had been thinking of this revelation God gave me years back, and I could tell by the way that my body was reacting that I needed to go share it with everyone. I love how confident I am that it’s God’s word because of the way my body was reacting. If it wasn’t acting nervous I wouldn’t have gone up. So ironically weird…

So I went up. The word I got was to do with a comment that a friend of mine had made over the phone one day. She said (in almost a joking fashion) ”Well, where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. You just think about that for a minute.” So on the way to her house that night I did. And this is what I got:

Where is the Spirit of the Lord?
He lives inside of all those who believe in Him.
So where is freedom?
Inside you.

You are a recipient of freedom and a carrier of freedom. Not only can you pass it out where ever you go, but if you feel you need to get some it shouldn’t be to far of a walk. So I just said a short and sweet declaration of freedom over the class, proclaimed this as a year of freedom and breakthrough, then went back to my seat.

After words we had prayer ministry time and there was a girl standing in line beside me that I felt God had a word for, and He wanted me to tell her. This was the girl that got the “no not you, the person behind you”  when someone was being singled out for prophecy earlier. I really felt like God wanted to let her know that she is highlighted to Him and that she’s not just another face lost in the crowd. I wrestled with it for a couple minutes cuz I didn’t know how to just come out and say it. And in my head I felt so strongly that if I didn’t say something someone else would. I didn’t want to pass on this, so I said it. As soon as I did the girl ahead of us said “I was thinking the exact same thing!” so we both started praying for her and speaking Truth over her.  As I was heading for my car after class, the girl that got picked on to sing the song but didn’t, stopped me and said “That word you gave, that’s the song that was in my head.”

God’s got an agenda, and we get to play a part in watching it happen. We get to partner with Him to bring people into freedom and speak Truth into their identity. If we say no, that’s fine. He’ll just move on until He finds someone who’s willing. I’ve heard it said that you’re not necessarily the first person God asked, just the one who said “Yes”. Today I actually experienced it, and it was a very powerful lesson. It’s not about me. God’s got something to say, who am I to say no?

God’s been challenging me on a couple specific areas so far.

1. Do you believe I am who I say I am?
2. Do you believe you are who I say you are?

God is good, yes? Extravagantly so. He is a good father who loves his children so much. He is not pissed off, or waiting for them to screw up so he can point out all their faults. He is totally for us, spurring us on to bigger and better things. Cheering us on as we go. He’s not out to see us fail but to succeed. Imagine some “crazed” fan (hockey for you Canadians), shouting wildly and dancing all over the place when their team gets a goal or makes an unbelievable save. If we’re made in God’s image do you think that maybe He gets like that too? It’s just that He’s like that for us.

And I’m His child. I’m not His slave, I’m not bound to him by contract forced to do what he says to do with no choice in the matter. I’m a child of the King and as such, I carry His power, authority, love, and grace. It’s nothing I had to work for, I was born into it. I am my Father’s daughter, created in His image, so that if you’ve seen me you should be able to say that you’ve seen Him.

We live out our belief system whether we realize it or not. If you say you trust God but have stress, worry, or doubt in an area, then you don’t really trust God. I’m not saying this to get you down, I’m just stating a fact. God’s been challenging me on this very thing. If I say I trust Him as my provider then why do I worry? Somewhere deep down I just don’t believe it yet. Then how do I? That’s what faith is. Exercise it. Allow yourself to believe that He is who He says He is. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, if you want peace that passes understanding you have to give up your right to understand. God is good. End of story.

So what about #2 up there? Who does God say you are? You are His child. Created in His image. “Well i don’t really feel like I’m portraying Him very well. I mean look at my life. Riddled with failure… Perseverance isn’t really in my nature…. I’m not a very gracious person.” If you believe that you are a new creation in Christ, then what should that mean? God has made you in His image so everything of His nature is yours as well. If you’re not living it out you just don’t quite believe it yet. “Easy for you to say. How am I supposed to be something I’m not?” First realize who God says you are, and draw on Him to make it a reality, not just a theory.

How does this tie into pie? I don’t even know. Hahaa. I had a thought and now I have to find it again…. Oh yeah. God is so beyond good and He wants you to taste abundantly more than just the meat and potatoes. Being thankful shouldn’t just be lip-service but it should sink in deep and affect how you live your life. There is great power in giving thanks, but I think it has to start with the ability to receive thanks. To allow your heart to open up and receive His goodness and truth. Receive fresh revelation of who He is and who He says you are.

So Happy Thanks-receiving everyone

taste the goodness

]]> http://laurasponselee.com/archives/thanks-receiving/feed 1 http://laurasponselee.com/archives/move http://laurasponselee.com/archives/move#comments Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:35:54 +0000 Laura http://laurasponselee.com/?p=393 I haven’t been doing a lot of personal journaling yet because there seems to be a lot of things that fight for my time and attention, but I feel the need to now. To show what’s in my mind and not just in the classroom.

My situation today is that I am in great financial need. I’m $3500 in debt and I need $1100 by the end of the week for tuition and car insurance. Even as I write this though I hear that still small (and really confident) voice saying “That’s nothing ” and it really isn’t. It’s all in your perspective. If I was poor (and I guess from a worldly perspective I am) then it is a lot. With an income (of support money) ranging from $90-$215/month and not being allowed to work, there’s no “logical” way I will get $1000 in 5 days (let alone meet my monthly bills of $600).

But from a heavenly perspective, my Dad said he’d take care of me. The earth is the His, and everything in it. (Ps 24). He has the world in His hands including the movement and re-distributing of funds (eg Ex 12:36). He can cause peoples hearts to be turned and He can call things into existence that weren’t there before (eg Gen 1:1-3). $1000 is nothing to Him. It’s not a challenge for my God. He’s not up there in heaven somewhere biting His nails thinking “Oh no! What am I going to do now!? Where is this going to come from??” He’s not rocking back and forth in a corner with his hands over his ears trying to make it all go away. My God is in control. He’s not phased or afraid. He is confident, capable, and strong. He’s possibly even laughing.

So I will sit here and soak in His presence until I become like Him, until I see what he sees. Considering this “trial” a very joyful experience because it is stirring my faith in the One who is Faithful. I have no idea how this will work out but it’s not necessary for me to understand. My job is to pursue His presence, to be thankful and rest in the Peace that He gives, and to do what I see Him doing. I want to see impossibilities bow to the name of Jesus, not just believe that they can. There is favor on me, and authority to move mountains. So BE MOVED!

faith to move mountains

We just had retreat week here at Bethel. My group of 80 and 2 other groups (there’s 800 1st year students all together) went to a place called JH Ranch (about a 2 hour drive north of here) for a couple of days. I got a bit of home that I had forgotten all about and didn’t realize I had missed: the cold. It was actually quite refreshing and I’m glad I brought my long-johns.

Retreat is great for getting to know each other outside of the school environment and meet new people who aren’t in your once a week group of 80. As you can imagine 800 is an overwhelming number and an easy crowd to get lost in, so we purposefully set aside one afternoon at the ranch to do some little “get to know you” activities.

We split up into small groups and shared a bit about ourselves, our families, and our dreams. Then we took some time to pray for each other and speak into one anothers lives. We also got anonymous cards from our leaders with prophetic words on them as well, and no offense to whoever did mine but in all honesty I was a little disappointed. It simply said:

You’re beautiful. I see you going into the father’s heart. This is a year to learn and encounter the love of the Father.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great word, but this is what they tell everyone and I was hoping for something a little more personal… And then tonight I had a thought. This year was the 10th anniversary of my dad passing away. This whole year so far has been a year of asking God to prove Himself as my father, to provide for me and take care of me, to take back what was stolen from me, get the weight of the world off my shoulders and allow me to just BE.

So now I’m excited about that word, because it just confirms what God is already doing and will continue to do in increasingly greater depth and experience. This is going to be good

just be

When geocaching in a foriegn land,
read up on your wildlife first.
(Also… don’t go out after sundown. Bad idea.)

I’m all caught up on my homework, settling in quite well, and my time is starting to become my own (to an extent). I’ve decided to dub Mondays officially “Minedays” and refuse to do anything church or school related on them. I’m pretty sure it’s biblical… Anyways, today was my first official Mineday so I decided to go geocaching*. There’s no better way to get to know your neighborhood and have a little adventure at the same time.

By the time I got around to it, it was already 6 o’clock and the sun was starting to go down. Now, those who know me well are probably shaking your heads and thinking “Laura… don’t be stupid… remember that last time… when you went for a walk in a not entirely familiar area after dark?” Yeah. I thought about it too. But I checked it out on Google Earth and it was in the middle of a field not in a forest… so I went.

The area I was walking in was quite dry and scrubby. There was a gravel walking trail and all around was open uneven dirt and yellow dry grass. There were some trees but I could just walk through the field if I wanted to. My compass arrow was pointing to some stands of trees on the other side of the field so I decided to just B line it straight across. The ground was a lot more uneven than I was expecting but I kept plugging away anyways. I started noticing holes in the ground. Quite a lot of them actually. I wasn’t sure if it was just how the dry dirt was falling apart or what. Then my mind started thinking about snakes, all sorts of potentially poisonous ones. I told it to stop.

When I got to the trees the sun was behind the mountains and I was thinking about turning back. The amount of time it’d take to find this cache would be doubled just on account of lack of light. But I figured since I’m here I’ll just to a walk around and see if there’s anything out of the ordinary. Needless to say I didn’t see much, but what I did see looked like eggs or at least remnants of eggs. The landscape here is soooo not what I’m used to. Not lush and green and familiar at all. I started thinking about snakes again and decided to find my way back to the trail.

As soon as the thought went through my head I saw a shadow of something moving on the ground in front of me and heard something rustling behind me and found out how fast I can run through scrub on uneven dirt in low light situations. I didn’t know what direction I was going but man, I flew over that field. I saw the trail ahead of me and checked my gps to head back to the car. When I looked up I jumped at the site of two dark animals coming at me only to find that some neighborhood kid was taking his black lab puppies for a walk. (insert sigh of relief here). Man did I feel stupid.

On the way back to my car I asked him about the holes in the dirt and if they could be snakes. He said yeah, or ground squirrels… Are the snakes poisonous around here? I don’t think so….

I’m going to have to do some more research…
And go back in the daylight.
I’ve had enough adrenaline to do me for while.
I sure hope they were ground squirrels….

Know your snakes

Church this morning was all about giving up your right to be right. We sacrifice unity in the Body that is meant to work together towards the ultimate goal of gathering the harvest, over petty things or sometimes even noble things. In Matthew 12:30 Jesus says, “He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters.” If your passion or priority of anything (being right, or even healing ministry for example) is above the passion and priority of God and loving on people, then you may actually be unintentionally scattering them instead. Even truth that is out of place can work to divide. We need to listen to what is God saying for this situation NOW. Jesus was intimately familiar with the scriptures, yet he only DID what he saw his father doing. We can’t afford to have a perspective that’s not God’s. Are you willing to follow Him dispite your intellectual understanding or comfort?

Here’s an illustration from taking from “When Heaven Invades Earth”: (I don’t know if I’m allowed to reprint this but I’m going to anyways.)

History provides us with a lesson from a great military leader. Alexander the Great led his armies in victory after victory, and his desire for ever greater conquest finally brought him to the foot of the Himalayas. He wanted to go beyond these intimidating mountains. Yet, no one knew what was on the other side. Senior officers were troubled by his new vision. Why? They had gone to the edge of their map – there was no map for the new territory that Alexander wanted to possess. These officers had a decision to make: would they be willing to follow their leader off the map, or would they be content to live within its boundaries? They chose to follow Alexander.

Following the leading of the Holy Spirit can present us with the same dilemma. While he never contradicts His Word, He is very comfortable contradicting our understanding of it. Those who feel safe because of their intellectual grasp of Scriptures enjoy a false sense of security. None of us has a full grasp of Scripture, but we all have the Holy Spirit. He is our common denominator who will always lead us into truth. But to follow Him, we must be willing to follow off the map – to go beyond what we know. To do so successfully we must recognize His presence above all… Jesus followed the Holy Spirit’s leading, even when it seemed unreasonable, which it often did.

Hopefully that flowed. I does in my mind. Just some things to ponder and see where your paradigm is.

• Love. Always.
• Honor everyone. They have value because God made them. Honor yourself. To tell God that you don’t like what he made is insulting.
• You have no right to judge another, they are  not your servant.
• Holding each other accountable is never to be done from the point of view of “You did this wrong” but rather “This is where you’re supposed to be”
• You are royalty. Learn to live and think out of this identity.
• As believers you have the mind of Christ, and you have permission to use it.
• Integrity means you’re the same on the outside as you are on the inside. God needs to trust you in private matters before He’ll trust you with public ones.
• Be honest, no matter what the cost.
• Learn to trust someone more than you trust yourself. An external point of view can help keep you from being deceived. It all rides on trust, and trust is a choice.
• Faith is spelled R-I-S-K and you can’t really grow without it.
• Your destiny lies beyond the “dogs of doom”. Don’t stop if you hear them barking.

More to come…

Bill Johnson felt to kick off the year with a message that I didn’t expect, but one that I think we needed to hear. Well, me anyways. It was on disappointment and how to deal with it, because it is going to happen.

Jesus’ ministry started with a statement (Luke 4) in which He proclaims freedom for the prisoners. Later on in chapter 7, John the Baptist is in jail, and he sends his disciples to basically ask Jesus if He is who he says he is. John was the greatest of the old testament prophets and here he’s wondering about his fate, if the one who brings freedom has any for him. Jesus sends word back to him testifying of the work He is doing (Yes I am the one), and also with a word of encouragement: “Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me.” Don’t turn your back now John. Don’t let your hurt take over. Don’t put God on trial for something you don’t understand.

We may not fully understand what God is doing or agree with the outcome, but it doesn’t change his nature. I don’t even know if i can fully explain this but i’m going to let it sink in. I want to see things from the right perspective. When we’re in a place of grief and loss and disappointment there is an extraordinary opportunity to bring a type of praise to God that can not exist in any other situation, and we only have that window of opportunity to give it. If we want peace that passes understanding we first need to give up our right or need to understand. God is good. End of story.

Now, Bethel is a pretty big church. It’s one that could be quite easy to remain anonymous in if you wanted to. I wanted to sit somewhere that I felt comfortable so I ended up sitting in the very back in the bleachers next to a friendly looking lady and her daughter. The very first song that we sang was one that has followed me especially these last couple of months. ”Your love never fails… You make all things work together for my good.” I was so suddenly aware of God’s attentive care for me and could not help but pour out on Him.

The sermon was on hospitality and the role of fellowship. At the end of the service the lady beside me asked if I’d like to come for lunch with her and her daughter. She said it  had nothing to do with the sermon and that as soon as she saw me walk up to take my seat she knew that she had to ask me. So I said sure. She asked “Do you like steak? I’ve been craving steak. Let’s go get some.” Do I like steak? Seriously…. for those of you who are unaware, steak is pretty much my most favorite thing in the world. Do I like steak? God, you’re funny It was seriously so random, and yet so orchestrated.

Later on, I headed back to the church to register for school and ran into another friendly face. This time, one that I was not expecting to see. One of the ladies from my home church was down here, dropping off her daughter for school. She is someone I consider to be like a spiritual mom, so seeing her was such a blessing. We couldn’t talk long but we didn’t really need to. God is so good. He took me from feeling alone in a massive crowd, being unable to connect with home, and still feeling displaced and not settled in, and totally blessed me with steak and a “mom” type figure. What can I say. Thank you I guess.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Mattew 5:3

“The kingdom of God is … righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.” Romans 14:17

“And he will reign … forever; his kingdom will never end.” Luke 1:33

I’ve met all my new room mates. There’s 6 of us girls living in a 4 bedroom single story house…. It’s ok, i have my own room no more closets for me! And they’re all rad, so it should be good. I’m already fairly familiar with this part of town so i feel a certain level of settledness already.

I would ask for your prayers because the weeks leading up to this move hadn’t been the greatest, and even the decision to come wasn’t easy. I don’t feel like i have much to go on except a sense of something huge and a glimpse of the end goal. Doubt is definitely trying to creep it’s way past my peripheral vision, and i keep trying to remind it that it’s not welcome here. It will be a battle, so please pray with me for some unwavering certainty.

Well. Today’s going to be a full one i think. Church, then registering for school, getting my computer set up, painting my room Oh. Also…. i’m gonna need some furniture like a bed, a desk, and a dresser, so pray that i get some crazy sweet deals, and soon.

Later.
Oh and feel free to email me and let me know what’s going on for you. Just because I’m here now doesn’t mean i don’t care! Ok. Gotta go get ready for church now.